The past few days have been quite thought provoking for me. A few months ago I posed the thought to my husband that I wasn’t sure the direction I was intending to go with more schooling was what I wanted to do. Since then, Ive been working and trying to sort through all the options that I have in front of me.
With 4 years of schooling behind me, I have just a fraction of the debt that I could have had at this point, thank the Lord. I have a B.A., and frankly don’t know what to do with it. It makes me laugh, because honestly when I chose my major because I enjoyed the classes and found them easy to me. Then down the road, I decided I could use it as a spring board into another career. Now…. I’m not sure what I want to do. But as I look back at those 4 years of schooling, I look back and realize whether or not I use this degree I can see God’s hand on me where I was at each point in life.
Yes, all my needs were provided for, more than I deserved. But more meaningful to me were the people that God put in my path those years. I met tons of people, some of which I still am in contact with every once in a while. The pattern that I see with all of those people is a weaving of God moments, that were completely divinely appointed. The conversations that would come up, the influences that I had, the moments of opportunity that presented themselves were totally and utterly because of my God. I am so thankful that despite my many flaws and distractions of the years, God has used me in so many ways. So many of those people I pray that I was an instrument for God in their lives, but they also taught me lessons. Of God’s power, His timing, His grace, His Hand. So so so many times over and over again.
As I am trying to figure out my next steps, I am desperate to do what He wants me to do. I want my life’s purpose to be in His Hands and to walk that out. But I am reminded that every day, even in this time of tenderly stepping, that He can and wants to use me. I won’t just “arrive” someday, but everyday there are opportunities ahead of me to use for God’s glory. Even as I write this, a women at my work is brought to mind. Even though this place of work is probably not my “calling” for life, God has brought her in my life for a reason. She already knows I am a born-again Christian. She asks me questions. She knows how I live my life. But we also just chat about regular things. But in this “meaningless” chatting, I can already see God using those little conversations for good.
My life’s purpose? Now? Later? I don’t know yet. But I do know He wants to use me now, and whatever I do end up doing He wants to use me. Sometimes I believe that God gives us clear direction for seasons in life, He has done it for me. But in others I believe if we make it a matter of prayer, He won’t let us go down a wrong road, but we might not have a clear direction. This is where faith comes into play, but also looking for God to use us where we are.
What does He have for me even today? For you?……
